When God Created Fathers
When the good Lord was creating fathers He started with a tall frame.
And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of father is that? If You're going
to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high?
He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without
bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."
And God smile and said, "Yes, but if I make him child-size, whom would children
have to look up to?"
And when God made a father's hands, they were large and sinewy.
And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do You know what You're doing?
Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber
bands on ponytails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."
And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything
a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day... yet small enough
to cup a child's face in his hands."
And then God molded long slim legs and broad shoulders.
And the angel nearby had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week,
all right." she clucked. "Do You realize You just made a father without a
lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling
between his legs?"
And God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders
to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, or hold a sleepy head on the
way home from the circus."
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever
seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That's not fair.
Do You honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early
in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party
without crushing at least three of the guests?"
And God smiled and said. "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small
child who wants to 'ride a horse to Banbury Cross,' or scare off mice at
the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."
God worked throughout the might, giving the father few words, but a firm,
authoritative voice: eyes that saw everything, but remained calm and tolerant.
Finally, almost as an afterthought, He added tears. Then He turned to the
angel and said, "Now are you satisfied that he can love as much as a mother?"
The angel shuteth up.
- Erma Bombeck